"Zombie Apocalypse: CDC Denies Existence Of Zombies Despite Cannibal Incidents"
The CDC issued a statement to the huffpo concerning Zombies. "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," wrote agency spokesman David Daigle.
Cannibalism has been in the news of late. Three separate incidents to date of people allegedly killing and eating their fellow man. People eating is nothing new, though the CDC issuing a statement on Zombies is out of the ordinary. Zombies have been used by the CDC to get the word out on being prepared for real emergencies, like bioterrorism , weather or radiation related emergency. A clever and funny campaign, it is quite true that if you are prepared to handle Zombies everything else will seem like cake.
Still it is disconcerting, on a number of levels when a august agency like the CDC makes any statement on the impossibility of Zombie infection. The most pertinent question is why such a statement was issued? Does the CDC think Americans and the rest of the world, really need assurance on the issue of the reanimated dead. If so, it suggest a lot about the supposed level of credulity of their intended audience. Could be CDC is just doing what it's supposed to do commenting on issues that effect the health and welfare of the United States. Just imagine the panic precipitated by the fear of Zombie attacks. Real harm caused by fear is always possible. They take their mandate to protect the public seriously. Or maybe it's a cover up.
The one world Government experimenting on a pacification gas to make us all docile and complacent. Something goes awry because it always does. You know because this is how every Zombie apocalypse happens. Big Government denies that anything is out of the ordinary is happening. Then a few bites here a few there and BOOM, before you know it, your running in heals and falling over a lot.(note to the ladies get a good pair of running shoes and have them handy). The public is always the last to know distracted as we are by celebrities and any sort of playoff games. The elite get themselves to special bunkers, prepared far in advance, for just such an emergency. They will try to wait it out, but somehow Zombies get into the safe haven and soon all become victims of their own greed and arrogance.(note: anything other than zombie invasion greed and arrogance generally pays off). Then its all over for us (this sucks) the Kings will never win the cup, thanks Zombie apocalypse.
Upon reflection I think its really nothing. Reanimated dead is a horror show stable, drive in material nothing more.
Door knob jiggles
Ah looks like Tyler is here to pick up "Introduction to political ideologies" a handy book.
"Doors open come on in."
"Hey Tyler you look out of sorts. Rough night?"
"Brrraaainns"
"Hang Over hahaha sux 2bu"
"Bbbbrrraains"
"Oh my God!!!!!"
struggle ensues
"brrraaainns"
"arrghh"
The End
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